Toilet paper, missionaries and musicians ...... Oh, my!

Hi. Auntie Em here. I know you've all read the blog about Serengeti under canvas, but there is an untold part of the story. We had not one, not two, but three misunderstandings about the use of toilet paper in our tent toilets. First of all you have to understand that when you arrive at these luxury camps, one of the first things that happens (of course after you have been greeted with singing, warm towels, and a welcome drink) is that your personal butler takes you to your room and shows you where to find everything. Of course in the case of the tents, there was much more to explain....a crucial part being proper toilet procedures. After each of our respective butlers had shown us around, Emily and I met for a drink. We seemed to have different interpretations of the "toilet rules".

Misunderstanding number 1: I was told not to flush any toilet paper, and that it should all be discarded separately into this little brown box (which i thought was extremely small, and i thought the whole thing was a little strange), which your butler would collect each time they straightened up your tent. (Wow, what a job, big tip required there!). So, i had my pee and dutifully put my pee-soaked toilet paper into the little box. Then after discussing the events with emily, i realized that the little brown box should have contained a supply of small brown paper bags, and it was into these bags that we were supposed to put the toilet paper...so i had to run quickly back to my tent to beat the butler there before he could discover my faux-pas and get completely grossed out by me!

Misunderstanding number 2: Emily thought her butler said to use the paper bags for "other items", and not to flush them. She thought toilet paper was ok to flush, and had already flushed some down by the time we had met up to discuss all of this. It came as no surprise to me later when she told me that her toilet had not flushed adequately!!

Misunderstanding number 3: Emily thought each "occurrence" of toilet paper use should be stashed in a separate bag. However, my butler had explained that you fill the bag, then start another one if necessary. Emily had used half the camp's supply of bags before I had a chance to clarify things to her!!

Anyway, we got it all figured out in the end.

On to the missionaries....
It was our last dinner in the serengeti....another romantic, candle-lit dinner for the two of us....we had just been discussing that after twenty-plus game drives, many starting at 6 in the morning, we could finally sleep in. The ranger approached our table....he would be coming to tell us what time we were leaving for the air strip in the morning...we figured around 9 or so.....but no, he told us we would have time for another game drive on the way to the airport, but we had to be up at 6 again!!! I was very excited....Emily, at this point, has had enough game drives to last a lifetime, and would prefer to sleep, but she could sense my elation at the prospect of one more safari!!!!

So off we went in the morning.....but not just the two of us as usual.....this time we had a family of four missionaries from Tampa with us!!!! The pastiest group I have ever seen. Not a surprise when we witnessed them entering a toilet tent to douse themselves with a complete spray can of number 75 sun screen!!! The two kids, likely in their early teens, were two of the weirdest kids I've ever met.....they are going to have problems in life for sure.....when we first saw them approaching, we saw the mom and the son together and we thought they were a nice lesbian couple.

Anyway, off we went. We knew we were in trouble when we had to stop for about twenty minutes for them to photograph some mongoose, which resembled rats as they poked their heads out from an old termite mound. I mean, really, people, this is the /:)$(;:/($ serengeti......and they wanted to see mongoose and were also eerily interested in mice and ants!!! The drive wasn't a total waste, though, as we ended up getting within about 10 feet of both a huge hippo wallowing in the mud and two male lions having a little siesta!

On we went to the air strip to catch our flight to Zanzibar ..... Which leads to the musicians:

First there was the Indian sounding band that played outside before dinner.....almost enjoyable until one of them started to sing!! Very bad. I couldn't help but think of Russell peters and I found it a bit humorous! I know, that is very bad of me, but he could have done a great imitation!!!

Then we went to dinner, and just as we finished our appetizers I spotted them.....the dreaded restaurant-roaming musicians!!! Needless to say a few uncomfortable moments while we smiled and attempted to look interested.....luckily I'd had the foresight to order some wine.

Well, those are just a few "side stories".........